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How To Be a Gentleman | Chivalrous Etiquette

It’s 2012 and times have surely changed.  Many traditions and customs no longer exist, for better or for worse; often in the name of progress and modernization.  Chivalry, unfortunately, is one arena that has taken a hard hit; leaving so many of us oblivious as to how to be courteous to women.

Being a gentleman is nearly a lost art, but it doesn’t have to be… since the truth is it’s never out of style.  Being chivalrous simply means using proper etiquette and manners around all women, which is not difficult, and is one of our greatest assets being male.  Let’s take a look at some old fashion, yet honorable, ways to show the world we are indeed alpha men.

  • Always open doors whether she’s young or old.  Opening and holding a door for a woman is as basic as it gets.  No matter what kind of door it is – car or building – whenever you and a woman approach a door, open it and allow her to enter before you.  Be sure to hold it open until she’s completely through, so the door won’t close on her.  If there are multiple doors, open all of them.  Women typically know to move aside and wait for you to open the next door.  Such a small act goes a long way and says volumes about your character.
  • Offer her your seat if there is no other seat available for her to sit in, or be sure to let her have the seat if there is only one for the taking.  This rule applies to seats everywhere; including buses and trains.  This also applies to every woman, regardless of age.
  • Pull out her chair before she sits down at a table, and then gently and carefully push it back into place once she’s seated.  Do this for women who will be sitting next to you, and who are there without a male companion.  It’s the other guy’s job if he’s there!
  • Help her put on her coat.  Hold it open behind her, as she slips into it.  She’ll love you for this one!
  • Carry anything heavy, and don’t wait to be asked.  This is the perfect opportunity to be her knight in shining armor.
  • Pick up what she’s dropped.  If you’re close by, come to her rescue by doing this very gallant gesture.
  • Always offer her something to eat or drink before you partake.  This is just good manners and should be practiced with everyone.
  • Extend your arm to her when escorting her to social events, walking across a street, walking on uneven ground, or anytime she could use the support of a strong, protective arm.
  • Allow her to place her food or drink order first when at a restaurant or bar.
  • Be attentive by asking if she needs anything when at social events.  Take charge of getting her drinks when at parties, weddings, the theater, etc.  Your willingness to cater to her needs will not go unnoticed.
  • Allow her to go first unless you’re walking into a dark room, or somewhere that poses any sort of threat.  You will be a hero in her heart for exhibiting such bravery and consideration.
  • Always stand when a woman walks into a room.   This shows mad respect, which she’ll admire you for.  Standing when she exits is also respectable, but isn’t as important as when she enters.  Acknowledging her by saying hello when you stand is a nice touch.
  • Tip your hat slightly off your forehead when meeting a woman in public, and remove it if you stop to talk.  This is both chivalrous and hat etiquette.
  • Make and keep eye contact with her when speaking to or listening to her.  Eye contact is important because it shows respect and interest.  It allows the two of you to make a connection on levels that go beyond dialogue.


Being a gentleman by always giving a woman the respect she’s due is what chivalry is all about.  It’s not rocket science or difficult in any way.  It’s not outdated or un-cool.  It is not offensive, nor demeaning to today’s modern women.  Instead, it is a highly appreciated and valued quality and behavior that most women wish all men exhibited.  Don’t follow the crowd on this one, since so many men don’t know or practice this amazing art.  Be your own man by stepping up and being the gentleman every one of us should be.  Not only will the women love you for it, but you’ll gain a great sense of pride and satisfaction by being recognized as a guy women enjoy spending time with.

by Aaron Marino

Past Topics

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February 24, 2012
Aaron Marino of alpha m. offers advice when dealing with those who aren't on-board with your self improvement efforts. When you take control of your destiny and make changes, sometimes a those around you aren't supportive. Those who are not supportive many not feel good about themselves and thus are not positive about your efforts. Still focus on yourself and don't' get discouraged. Stay the coursRead More»
Look Into My Eyes | Eye Contact -
February 22, 2012
It seems as though we now live in a society and time when people don’t have or take the opportunity to communicate face to face like we did pre-internet days.  Phones, emails and texting have reduced and often eliminate the need to interact directly with a person, in person.  And along with the disappearance of face to face interaction, goes eye contact – a very important communication tool,Read More»
Commitment Phobe | Dating Advice -
February 14, 2012
If it's not right, it's not right. If it's right, then you'll know. Aaron Marino of alpha m. discusses men who have a fear of commitment. The way Alpha sees it, if you enjoy talking and flirting, there's nothing wrong with it. You don't need to 'settle down'. As long as you are not doing anything dangerous and not lying to anyone, go ahead and go out! If you have a reputation of leading girls on, Read More»
Mind Your Manners!  -
February 13, 2012
At the risk of sounding like my grandmother, I have to say I’ve noticed a lack of social etiquette among a lot of guys, especially the younger generations, who for some reason haven’t had the rules of common courtesy beat into them like generations before. Simple respect and good manners seem to evade even the nicest of guys; making us, as a gender, look like Neanderthals. Well, I’m here to Read More»

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February 2, 2012
Let’s talk about sweat.  Everyone does it; some more than others, and men typically do it more than women.  We sweat in order to maintain our body temperature; to keep ourselves from getting dangerously overheated.  As I’m sure you’ve noticed, we sweat when we’re physically active, like during exercise, and when we are nervous, like on a date or job interview.  It’s understandable whRead More»
Being an Alpha Male | How to be Better Men -
January 25, 2012
Aaron Marino of alpha m. and his father discuss ways to be better men. Being an alpha man is not just about how to score chicks. Being an alpha man is about how to be well rounded: how you dress and look, how you treat other people, and humanity. Alpha male traits include creativity, reaching out to others, and spirituality. It's about being the best person you can be. Don't push away what you reaRead More»
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January 4, 2012
I think it’s safe to say we all experience the blues every now and then. That’s life and is bound to happen from time to time. But then there are times when we feel so down it’s difficult to see or believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Sad times when we are so gloomy it’s difficult to smile or get out of bed. Low times that interfere with our quality of life, and make us feel hRead More»
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January 3, 2012
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December 20, 2011
A very common complaint of my single clients is that they don’t know where to go in order to be around and meet single women.  We know where they aren’t… they aren’t hanging out at your place while you sit there and play video games with your buddies. So, the first step in meeting a potential mate is stepping outside of your comfort zone and being willing to try new things.  Variety is tRead More»

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