In this video men's style, grooming, fitness and lifestyle expert, Aaron Marino of IAmAlphaM, AaronMarino, and Pete & Pedro brings to you a special guest- Dan Thomas. Last year, he completed the Alpha M. Image Virtual Consultant Training Package. His business is headquartered in Australia which he is a relationship expert and image consultant. His advice is solid.
Introduction from Dan Thomas
Dan Thomas introduces himself. Alpha has been a mentor and inspiration of Dan's for many years. He provides a personal shopping service as his day-to-day business.
The Alpha Male Problem Solving Mode
Dan explains that as men, we are born problem solvers. He explains the 'alpha male problem solving mode', which is great for personal problems and when fixing / repairing / building things. It is, however, destructive to relationships. Dan gives an example. As alpha males, we deliver a step-by-step action plan when our girlfriend / wife talks about her problems. The result is an upset significant other because the action plan adds more noise to what's already a loud thought process. She only needed love and someone to make her feel temporarily better.
How You Should Actually Respond
The crazy part is that when she is sad or upset, you will be seen as a better boyfriend / husband by giving a genuine hug and kiss on the forehead, telling her you love her and that you're sorry, and letting her know that if she wants to talk that you'll listen. The result is that your partner will thank you and probably won't want to discuss it any further. She feels much better knowing her man is a rock to lean on who cares / loves her.
At the end of the day, she doesn't want you to solve her problems. She wants you as a sounding board to which to vent and someone who can absorb some of her pain. She wants to know you will be there to support and love her. Men need to fight the urge to problem solve.
If she does want to vent, don't EVER cut her off and fire problem solving solutions. Let her talk and talk and then talk some more. If she can verbalize, she will feel better. If she asks for your thoughts, then you can put your alpha male problem-solving cap on.