Alpha comes from a broken home. His mom met and married a few dudes along the way, which one of which was an asshole and emotionally abusive. Alpha only wanted security and learned to just 'take it' to not rock the boat. His mother divorced him when Alpha went to college. The damage was done, and Alpha didn't know how to stand up for himself until he got some therapy.
We Teach People How to Treat Us
We teach people how to treat us- this notion was ground-breaking to Alpha. He realized that by not standing up for himself, he taught people how to treat him. He gives examples. We also have a hard time if we stand up for ourselves because we are scared of the repercussion(s).
In Alpha's early 20s, he realized he had a problem standing up for himself. Going to a therapist was one of the best decisions he ever made. Unfortunately, he realized that he had to stand up for himself or else get out of those environments. Alpha got anxiety even THINKING about standing up for himself.
Decision to Leave or Stand Up for Yourself
When making a decision to stand up for yourself, you could potentially lose friends, a career, a significant other / spouse. The alternative is being eaten alive inside. When Alpha made his decision to leave, he realized he needed to change and start asserting himself.
The more you practice standing up for yourself, the easier it's gets. Another upside is that toxic relationships go away. They were comfortable putting you down, and they will find someone else that is a push-over.
Confidence and Responsibility
Standing up for yourself boils down to developing confidence and knowing you are amazing. No one should put you down or treat you poorly. You need to realize that you have to take care of yourself and that you are responsible for your happiness & success. Life is too short to not feel good about who you are or the people you're around. The ability to say 'no' is a skill you can develop. It feels amazing and you are worth it.