How to STOP Being Insecure & Jealous in a Relationship!

February 27, 2023
Relationship insecurity and jealousy will eat you alive and ruin a potentially amazing relationship. Once you start thinking, stressing, and worrying, you become consumed and start doing weird things like snooping through her phone, spying on her, or pestering her. You try to justify it, but most of the time is us — not them. That being said, I want to give you some tips that I have used to overcome relationship insecurity and jealousy.

Overcome relationship insecurity with these tips

First, understand that your past relationships don’t dictate your future, so don’t make your current person suffer the consequences of someone else’s actions or inactions. If you’ve ever been cheated on, it’s emotionally and mentally devastating. Cheating means that this person didn’t reciprocate your feelings or has something weird going on to cause them to act out. You can leave toxic baggage behind with a new relationship and start fresh.

Next, figure out why you are feeling insecure. If you do, you will better identify and deal with it. Sometimes therapy is needed to help deal with issues. Therapy helped me deal with my childhood which was the root of allowing a woman to cheat on me many times. I was never strong enough to admit I deserved better. I allowed her to treat me poorly. You deserve to be happy! Visit Better Help and get 10% off your first month of therapy with a therapist who will listen and help.

The third step in dealing with relationship insecurity is to stop trying to read her mind. If there is something troubling you, ask her. Hopefully, you two can have a healthy relationship with open communication. You must also stop pestering and bothering her, trying to get a different answer. The truth is that a lot of u will get in our own heads.

Stop confusing imagination with reality. We can get into a habit of imagining what’s happening or what she’s thinking, which are worst-case scenarios. We build it up so big that it becomes our reality. You can make an ass out of yourself when assuming something is happening when it’s not. You can also make some really bad mistakes at this point, like snooping through her phone.

Never ever snoop! Don’t look through her phone or social media or do anything shady. Be careful what you look for because sometimes you’ll find it.

If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, trust it. But know that if your gut lies to you about love, you will see things that aren’t there or ignore things that are there. Listen to your gut, but don’t let it rule you. If you don’t trust the person, the relationship is damaged and can’t be fixed.

Trust is earned and not guaranteed. Once trust is lost, it’s very difficult to get back. The worst thing to do is take someone back and then bring up the issue repeatedly. Don’t allow that to happen to you either — if she chooses to forgive you when you’re truly remorseful, don’t allow her to use that in a fight or bring it back up. If she tries, she’s harboring anger and resentment, which you can’t overcome the damage.

For your relationship to grow, it needs room to breathe. You need time to yourself — and your person does too. You don’t need to mash and meld into one unit like sharing social media accounts or always being together. You need outside influences to be a well-rounded person, be interesting, and develop as a confident, healthy, and successful man.

Work on being the best version of yourself to overcome relationship insecurity. You will feel great about yourself and more valuable, and you won’t worry as much about her leaving you. And if she cheats, you’ll be ‘peace out’ rather than a negative or destructive reaction. You will choose better, someone who values and deserves you. If they cheated, they didn’t deserve you! No amount of love or compassion could prevent a cheater from cheating. Often cheating is a manifestation of unresolved issues or seeking attention.

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Aaron Marino (alpha m.) is the number 1 men’s lifestyle influencer with over 8 million followers combined across multiple social media channels.

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