We IAmAlphaM type men pride ourselves on our style, our confidence, our je ne sais quoi, our…swagger…to make use of that term which is precariously perched on the precipice of overused verbiage. We know great looking and well made clothing when we see it, and we have a well trained ability to avoid fads while being mindful of trends. We are better than the average schlub precisely because we have taken the time to train ourselves in the art of presenting our best face to the world. We know a great tailored wool jacket beats the dogshit out some off the rack 65% poly blend rag. We know a great pair of dress shoes introduces you to women without you having to say a word.
We have all of this knowledge that sets us above the crowd, and then one day we are bandying about the mall, and see some completely asstarded thing that no man over the age of fifteen has any business wearing, and some damned dark part of our minds loses its shit and says, albeit not audibly, “Ooooooh!!! That effing rocks!!!” Sometimes, just sometimes, we even allow that horrid nugget a moment of control during which it directs our hands to our wallets and causes us to buy the friggin’ thing. Now we own it. Congratulations, moron. What are we going to do with it now?
Blame it on a moment of sentimentality sparked by our childhood having been spent toiling away in the dank recesses of comic book geekery. Blame it on having some extra cash because our tax refund just came in. Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol. Blame whatever we wish, but now that Captain America sweatshirt, pair of skull earrings, or t-shirt with the 5 dollar footlong arrow pointing at our penis has now become the tumor on our otherwise flawless wardrobe. Is there any way to work this into our rotation and make it actually look presentable? Can we work our magic on this thing that we couldn’t live without and make it look stylish? Believe it or not, we probably can.
The nice thing about this sort of ridiculous fare is that it usually isn’t terribly expensive, which believe it or not works to our advantage, and is precisely what makes it salvageable. When paired with some nice, higher end clothing and accessories, we can make it rock. Take the aforementioned t-shirt. Okay, so it’s a little sophomoric, and chances are the ladies aren’t going to find it all that amusing, but if we layer it under a nice, partially opened button up whose dominant color matches, throw on some well fitting khakis, a great belt, and some kick ass cordovan ankle boots, we just took a joke and made it into a fashion statement.
Even something really over the top like a comic book based hoodie can be made to work. If we wear it open with a stylish slim fitting black Calvin Klein t-shirt under it, paired with dark denim jeans and some old school canvas shoes, and tussle our hair a little, it’s possible to show off a look to the world that says “I’m a swagtastic bitch who can have a little fun once in a while.” It says we are skilled enough to look better than most even when we aren’t taking ourselves too seriously. Style is an art, and the best artists are the ones who can create a masterpiece on any canvas. So when we see something goofy we like, it’s okay to give into the ridiculous urge once in a while and buy it because we know how to make it pop. If we like it, know we have the skill to make it work, then by all means, let us have a little fun with our wardrobes once in a while by adding something unlikely to our repertoire. We just cannot make a habit of it. We do have our hard earned reps to uphold, after all. It’s what separates us alphas from the betas. Peace love and bacon till next time, my bros!
by Chance White
