Do people frequently ask you to repeat what you said? Are you often unable to be heard, speak too quickly, or mispronounce words? If you’re like many guys, you probably could use a little brushing up on your speaking skills.
People learn to speak pretty much the same way they learn to do most things – by observing what others in their environment do. From birth, we begin to mimic those around us, and regardless of what they do, they teach us… whether it’s intentional or not. We are products of our environment and speech is definitely no exception.
That’s not to say we can forever hold our parents, families, or society responsible for our poor diction, but it is an honest and valid reason many of us speak the way we do. However, as we mature and become worldlier, we should take responsibility for ourselves and, if needed, make necessary changes to our speech, so we can better reach our potential and be more successful in life.
Speaking Is an Art
Although it’s taken for granted and regarded as fundamental as breathing or eating, it really is and should be considered an art form. Yesteryear’s integrity of the English language has taken a hard blow from today’s lax rules on grammar, enunciation, vocabulary and spelling; making a mockery of something once held in high regard by generations before us. Emails and texting are directly responsible for butchering the language and rules… and as if that’s not bad enough, they’re causing many of us to lose our speaking skills. The phrase “use it or lose it” applies here because, as a society, we don’t communicate with each other by mouth as much as we did just several ago. So, not only are people losing speaking skills; younger generations are never truly learning the skills to begin with. Scary!
Whether you mispronounce words or tend to mumble, upping your speaking game will only improve your image and how others view you. Be it a job interview, a big date, a presentation at work, or simply ordering food at a restaurant – people who speak properly are given more respect, and are taken more seriously than people who lack proficiency in the spoken word.
Here’s a list of simple tips that can help you make improvements. It will take some energy and awareness on your part to make changes, but it shouldn’t take long to modify old habits if you make it a priority.
Anti-mumbling and Other Speaking Tips
- Stand up straight when you speak. Good posture will open airways and promote lung and breathing capacity.
- Turn up the volume. Often, people speak clearly; just not loud enough to be heard easily. Another typical reason people speak quietly is because they lack confidence in their pronunciation and are trying to hide it. Either way, it’s frustrating for you and whoever you’re speaking with. They have to continually ask you to repeat yourself, and you have to continually do it. It gets old and is no fun for anyone, so avoid the situation by speaking louder. If you mispronounce a word, it’s not the end of the world – we all do it. Simply correct yourself, if possible, and move on.
- Slow down. It’s easy to slur and mispronounce words when speaking too quickly. Not only that, but it’s difficult for people to keep up with you; making the conversation not so pleasant. I’m not suggesting you drag your words out; just slow the pace down a bit if you’re a fast talker. You know who you are!
- Learn the correct pronunciation of words. Most of us have at least a few words we’re unsure of how to pronounce. Saying a word incorrectly only makes us appear uneducated. Often, we realize we’re saying it wrong, and instead of learning the proper version, we choose to continue mispronouncing it. Ask someone who’s well spoken how to pronounce a word, or use the online dictionary service that, in addition to giving the definition of a word, also says the word. This is a great tool that can help save face, if asking for help isn’t your thing.
- Don’t drop letters. Dropping the letter “g” at the end of a word is possibly the most common enunciation mistake. Listen to yourself speak. Do you say drivin instead of driving; talkin instead of talking; runnin instead of running? I bet you do sometimes. Pay attention and pronounce the last “g” of a word, or any letter you drop.
- Don’t add or delete extra syllables. So many words are commonly mispronounced that don’t have to be, if we would just place importance on learning. Sorry fellas, but in order to correct this issue you’ll have to learn the correct pronunciations.
- Speak in front of a mirror. Watch yourself, as you listen, enunciate words. What does your mouth look like when you speak? Are you opening it wide enough? Are your lips moving enough so they’re capable of pronouncing words properly? You can learn a lot about the way you speak by watching yourself do it. Practicing with a mirror just minutes a day can make a world of difference.
- Read out loud to yourself. This is a great exercise, too, for evaluating your speech.
- Record yourself. It’s not easy to hear ourselves, nor be objective while we’re engaged in conversation, so record yourself when you’re alone and listen. This is a great tool and… reality check!
- Ask someone to observe you. We all have someone we’re comfortable with and trust enough to ask for help. Let them know you’re working on making some changes, and have them listen and critique your speech. It’s an excellent exercise that’s very effective.
- Listen to others speak and enunciate. In addition to listening to those we have conversation with, include people on TV and radio – newscasters, commentators, or any of the talking heads – who are typically well spoken. Notice their pronunciation, speed and inflections.
- I’ve had the sad experience of talking with people who were obviously trying to hide their teeth, or lack of, by not opening their mouths wide enough to speak clearly. I totally understand this dilemma, but at the same time want to encourage you to maintain good oral health, which includes seeing a dentist when necessary, so you’re never in this predicament. If you find yourself in this situation, do what you need to do to take care of business. The world wants to hear what you have to say!
If you believe your speech issues are of a more serious nature, and go beyond being helped by the tips mentioned above, consider seeing a speech therapist. They can do wonders in short amounts of time. There are also diction classes available; classes that so many public speakers and politicians take in order to speak their best.
Using proper speech can only improve your image and life, which I know matters to you because you’re an alpha member. If you’re uncertain about how you sound, ask a friend or family member to be honest with you. Pride shouldn’t come before improvement. And in our quest to be the best we can be, proper speech ranks up there with the other very important issues. In our attempt to present ourselves as intelligent, well-rounded men, use of clear, articulate language will go beyond words in complimenting our image and style, while reflecting the true alpha males we are!
by Aaron Marino
