When your woman or partner does you wrong, how do you deal with the emotions? Aaron Marino of alpha m. shares a viewer email who is having a tough time with his emotions. The viewer was dating a woman for a year, the woman had a cancer scare, and she cut the relationship off. Prior to this, she started to ‘act funny’.
Alpha stresses to listen to your intuitions. If you feel that something isn’t right, listen to yourself. Anyway, in the long run, they broke up. They still talk however. He also hears that she is dating her ex-boyfriend and confronts her about it. She denies it, but he sees her with him later. He doesn’t know what to do. She is still is denying and won’t admit anything bus she is still leading him on.
He is stressed and his mood is affected, but he just can’t let go and cut off completely. Alpha interjects that when you break up, you break up. You are not friends, and friendship wouldn’t work. When it’s over, let it be over. You need to get her absolutely out of your life which includes social websites, email address, phone number, etc. If you don’t get rid of the ways to contact her, you can back-slide due to emotions. And don’t contact her friends and ask about her. Last, don’t listen to the radio as the music can only get you more emotional.
Focus on yourself, take care of yourself, and start dating. Over time it will get better if you cut off contact.
How do you get over someone you loved and lost?
I need some advice. I will try to keep the e-mail short, but there is a lot so I will try to condense as much as I can.
A while back I started seeing a women who I ended up falling in love with. The first year was amazing in all areas of the relationship, and it started to look like we were starting to get really serious. We started having the living arrangement discussions and “future talks” now this was a big deal for me because I had never been this way in a relationship I was always looking for a way out, but this time I went in 100%.
After a while things started to change little by little, she started distancing herself from me claiming that she couldn’t handle a relationship in the condition she was in. Now I knew from the start that she was battling cancer, so I always tried to be as helpful and understanding as I could. And she said that she needed to focus on her health most importantly, which is something that I understood. Jealousy started poking up from both sides and one fight after another we ended up breaking up.
At first we did not talk at all, but slowly we started to speak again and of course feelings started to resurface. I kept my distance and did not pursue anything, and actually had tried to move on and date other women which I did casually for a while, but I could in essence not let her go from my mind. She would still call and text me and we would talk as almost as if we were still together, and I would find myself holding back in other potential relationships because silly me held onto a sliver of hope. This has been going on for months now, and I know in the bottom of my heart that I can not be with her or for that matter should.
As of recent I have found out beyond a shadow of a doubt that she has started seeing her ex once more. Of course this killed me when I found out, but I wanted to be gracious and mature and let it be. When I asked her about it she denied it completely, and said she was not with him or ever would get back with him. Now I know that she is with him, and I was hurt because I thought to myself if we are trying to be genuine friends why do you feel the need to lie. Anyways I tried cutting off contact with her and did for a while, but then we once more started talking and she would give me crazy mixed signals. But once more I have confirmed with my own two eyes that they are together, so I asked her once more and actually said that I was happy that she is happy with whom ever it may be. She once again denied it and says that they are not together, and why it should matter to me anyways, and I responded that if we were friends its only natural for me to wonder, but not natural for her to deny it. I know that this is not healthy, I am always stressed because of her and it has started to affect my moods at work and in my everyday life, but I just can’t let go and cut off completely.
I guess through all of this I will get to my question. What do you think she is doing? Why must she lie, about something that she should know I wouldn’t bring up if I wasn’t 100% sure of? But more importantly I need advice on what to do, I need my sanity and peace of mind, but I know I can never have that as long as she is in my life. I need advice on how to let go and let go for good, I know that I will never be able to just see her as a friend, and more importantly I know I will never be able to let someone else in because she is always in the back of my mind. Whatever insight you can give me I would much appreciate it.
