It’s 2012 and times have surely changed. Many traditions and customs no longer exist, for better or for worse; often in the name of progress and modernization. Chivalry, unfortunately, is one arena that has taken a hard hit; leaving so many of us oblivious as to how to be courteous to women.
Being a gentleman is nearly a lost art, but it doesn’t have to be… since the truth is it’s never out of style. Being chivalrous simply means using proper etiquette and manners around all women, which is not difficult, and is one of our greatest assets being male. Let’s take a look at some old fashion, yet honorable, ways to show the world we are indeed alpha men.
- Always open doors whether she’s young or old. Opening and holding a door for a woman is as basic as it gets. No matter what kind of door it is – car or building – whenever you and a woman approach a door, open it and allow her to enter before you. Be sure to hold it open until she’s completely through, so the door won’t close on her. If there are multiple doors, open all of them. Women typically know to move aside and wait for you to open the next door. Such a small act goes a long way and says volumes about your character.
- Offer her your seat if there is no other seat available for her to sit in, or be sure to let her have the seat if there is only one for the taking. This rule applies to seats everywhere; including buses and trains. This also applies to every woman, regardless of age.
- Pull out her chair before she sits down at a table, and then gently and carefully push it back into place once she’s seated. Do this for women who will be sitting next to you, and who are there without a male companion. It’s the other guy’s job if he’s there!
- Help her put on her coat. Hold it open behind her, as she slips into it. She’ll love you for this one!
- Carry anything heavy, and don’t wait to be asked. This is the perfect opportunity to be her knight in shining armor.
- Pick up what she’s dropped. If you’re close by, come to her rescue by doing this very gallant gesture.
- Always offer her something to eat or drink before you partake. This is just good manners and should be practiced with everyone.
- Extend your arm to her when escorting her to social events, walking across a street, walking on uneven ground, or anytime she could use the support of a strong, protective arm.
- Allow her to place her food or drink order first when at a restaurant or bar.
- Be attentive by asking if she needs anything when at social events. Take charge of getting her drinks when at parties, weddings, the theater, etc. Your willingness to cater to her needs will not go unnoticed.
- Allow her to go first unless you’re walking into a dark room, or somewhere that poses any sort of threat. You will be a hero in her heart for exhibiting such bravery and consideration.
- Always stand when a woman walks into a room. This shows mad respect, which she’ll admire you for. Standing when she exits is also respectable, but isn’t as important as when she enters. Acknowledging her by saying hello when you stand is a nice touch.
- Tip your hat slightly off your forehead when meeting a woman in public, and remove it if you stop to talk. This is both chivalrous and hat etiquette.
- Make and keep eye contact with her when speaking to or listening to her. Eye contact is important because it shows respect and interest. It allows the two of you to make a connection on levels that go beyond dialogue.
Being a gentleman by always giving a woman the respect she’s due is what chivalry is all about. It’s not rocket science or difficult in any way. It’s not outdated or un-cool. It is not offensive, nor demeaning to today’s modern women. Instead, it is a highly appreciated and valued quality and behavior that most women wish all men exhibited. Don’t follow the crowd on this one, since so many men don’t know or practice this amazing art. Be your own man by stepping up and being the gentleman every one of us should be. Not only will the women love you for it, but you’ll gain a great sense of pride and satisfaction by being recognized as a guy women enjoy spending time with.
by Aaron Marino
